The title of the blog is kinda melodramatic, isn’t it?
So I’ve been “back to work” since last month and I’m about 6-7 weeks in and for the majority of that time, things have been going well, I’ve been learning the ropes and starting to find my flow with things.
However, there we’re a few minor changes to the team setup and I was offered the opportunity to take a more admin role which at the time really appealed to my “admin brain” nature, mainly my ability to hyperfocus (good old ADHD!) – at first it was good, I was able to deal with the workload coming in, however, I started to realise at the beginning of this week that even in hyperfocus mode, the workload was getting too much for one person and I could feel something creeping back into my head and my body that I’d not felt for months, stress!
I’ve spent the majority of the evening after work with a massive headache, muscle fatigue and general lethargy – this was something I wasn’t ready for and it’s knocked me out – I went through long bouts of this in 2020/21 and I do NOT want to repeat feeling this way.
I decided that rather than try to deal with the large number of incoming and existing tasks solo, that I would reach out to my managers and tell them exactly what was going on, rather than just struggling and stressing about it – however, even after doing that, the stress is still with me, I’ve noticed my sleeping patterns are really messed up and I really don’t like feeling like this.
I hoping to have a chat with my managers about it tomorrow so maybe something good will come from that, or maybe not – we shall see, I’m hopeful, they seem like a supportive team so I guess I’m going to find out if that is the case – watch this space!